Block . Out of Focus. Stagnant. Normal. Ordinary. Out of words. Out of ideas. A feeling of not wanting to do. A feeling of just letting go. A feeling of wanting to give up. A feeling of just doing nothing. A feeling of wanting to DO nothing. A feeling of just actually losing yourself. A feeling of undermining yourself. A feeling of losing interest in things, life and people. You know that feeling of just BEING , EXISTING and not LIVING?
I wanted to write about this since long but every time I began to write, I fell short of words and fell who will even read it considering today’s world just runs on numbers and where many thrive onto something which has spice, which is attractive, which is fun like.
This is not Depression or even anywhere near it. It is just a phase, a moment, a temporary timing where you cease to feel excited about endeavours but just go with the flow of daily mundane and routines. Rather, many of us go through the same feeling at some point where a day becomes a mere to do day with little or no interest.
And when I first started writing about this, I must have backspaced it at least 7-8 times as I just could not pen down the right words.
I am a person who has always been on the go, always used to doing things, always been multi-tasking. A weekend of doing nothing felt so unproductive, filled with guilt that I almost forgot what it is like to doing nothing without feeling anything.
And then came a moment, where I felt so demotivated.
Do you know that moment when you are stagnant and you know you are not growing? You are doing things, but you are doing the same things. Same things over and over again.
And then you sit down, look around and realize, “Oh, everybody is doing so well. You are growing old. You are probably growing out of fashion. You are not even half as good.” And yes, we all know that everybody has their own time and we should not compare ourselves and that we are all individually amazing in some way.
But you know at that moment, everything ceases to exist.
You begin to undermine yourself. You begin to question your own abilities. You are just clueless for some point. You are uncertain. You maybe know what you want but the future seem unlikely and ambiguous . It is like “We are being absorbed into our own whirlwind,”
It is that “TIME-LAPSE” feeling where everything is moving, running, sliding, passing but you stand there still just being.
And while I was trying to understand the root cause, I realized that the one being NUMBERS!
We are driven by it. Sit down and think of it.
Deadlines. Timelines. Targets. Followers. Likes. Progress. Growth.
Everything is ascertained by NUMBERS!
While there is no denial, that it pushes you. There is also a question that makes you question your abilities, makes you compare, makes you feel insecure, legit lowers your confidence.
And that is the MAJOR ROAD BLOCK for you starting up something. We hesitate, we contemplate, we over think. Doing a SWOT analysis is cool, but doing SWWWWWWWOTTTTTTTT analysis is not cool if you get what I am saying. (basically weakness and threats times 100)
How do you know before you start?
You may not be as good as them.
You maybe pathetic.
But what IF you are amazing!
WHAT if YOU CAN BECOME THE BEST?
Our second problem is we are so used to one click, one tap, instant clicks that we want progress instantly.. We are so judgemental of ourselves that we give up. We fail to dream, rather we lack the courage to make the dream a reality. We give up. We give up so many times and keep thinking “WHAT IF” !
You. I. Everybody.
It is okay to be lost, to just be ordinary, to not feel anything, to keep doing life at is. But every once in a while, rather I would say daily, think how can you make that what if NOW. Take that jump. You never know that parachute will just open and you will end up floating and oh baby, if you fall, you might just rise up again like a spring.
Many a times that no feeling phase, that ordinary phase is no more a phase but transforms into a habit which we accustom to. We “GET USED” to it. We accept “AVERAGE” and we love the feeling of stagnant, normal life because of the simple reason that you don’t need any additional efforts.
But someday, you read something or you see something or you feel something and feel what am I doing, I am beyond average, TAKE THAT PLUNGE.
It would be tough, it would be the toughest. But you know it is coming closer, walking closer, running closer towards something called magic. That magic could transform you into better individual probably one succeeding or probably one dealing better with failures or probably one being a bit more than average.
Timelapse….. Take it…. It keeps going ahead…
And while you sit back and watch your past life, you will laugh at your mistakes, be proud of your highlights. But do you know the best part of a timelapse? It keeps going ahead. GOING FORWARD! And let me tell you, it is s no movie, no fairytale but your own crazy timelapse passing by you. And oh buoy! AMIDST ALL THIS HOW HAVE YOU EVOLVED, ADAPTED AND GROWN! You deserve a toast! CHEERS!
So if you are feeling nothing, it is okay… It will pass… But just have the courage and will to “MAKE IT PASS”